Tuesday, March 29, 2011

All Creatures Great and Small

Matthew 10:29 (New International Version, ©2011)

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.

This year on the annual occurrence of my uterine emancipation I had my Last Will and Testament notarized as well as the Living Will and Health Care Directive. It had been awhile and everything needed updating. I made a copy of it all and sent it to my daughter since she is the next in line if for some reason my husband cannot do this or passes on before I do. I also let her know that we have pre-arranged plans for “in the event of”. She said it made her cry. I gently reminded her that life is terminal. What matters most is where we spend eternity.

I’ve casually mentioned to Dennis that maybe someone should discuss this type of planning with his mother who just turned 90 on March 23rd. It seems no one is aware of any end of life planning or wishes she may want. I think we sometimes don’t want to deal with those issues that make us uncomfortable. Death and end of life care fall in to those categories.

I then sent the “fill in the blank” packet for end of life care to my own mother who resides in the same state we do. The packet is a downloadable PDF file from the state’s Attorney General’s office. She was grateful and it actually prompted a good discussion between the two of us.

It is too late when the person you love or care for can no longer speak for themselves be it dementia, a stroke, or a coma. With this being said, I am going to digress a bit.

We had our beloved pet, a miniature Schnauzer put down today. She was diagnosed with malignant melanoma when we took her to the vet’s to have a “lump” removed. The vet did what she could, but the poor little thing was riddled with the tumors. She went fast and began having seizures. It was difficult to watch her go down hill. She was a normally thin, robust, active little girl. We have had her since she was weaned from her momma and she was 11-years old. Her official AKC name was: Gila Valley’s Miss Demeanor. We called her Demi.

Since I work, the task of all the veterinary visits fell on my husband, the retiree. He did this well… until… today. Bless his heart. This was so difficult for him. Yesterday’s visit to the vet ended with them advising him they could put her down then. He asked if they would come to our home to do it. They wouldn’t. I suppose hospice hasn’t been considered for animals – yet. So he declined until we could spend one more night with her. She slept in our bed, between the two of us. She hadn't done that for awhile. She didn't have the energy to jump up on the bed.

This little dog that we loved so dearly could not tell us it was time to end her life.  But we knew.  Watching her sit quietly, head down and eyes looking into ours with love and trust... we knew... we knew.

We often called her the gazelle as she was as limber as one and insisted on jumping on the couch and sitting on the highest point to watch all the activities. Keeping guard, is what I thought. Jumping up on our bed was never a problem, until lately.

Today after I left for work Dennis tended to his charge. He groomed her, brushing every last matt from her fur. Then he fed her special things as her appetite had diminished. She had a gourmet dog food (soft) and grapes. She loved grapes ever since she was a pup. (She also liked raw broccoli and cauliflower.) Then at 3:00 p.m. he drove her to the vet’s and sat with her. We will receive her ashes in a few weeks.

So, tonight I am missing Demi. She always sat at my feet when I was clicking away on this ‘puter. I don’t know if there are animals in heaven, but I’m sure God cares for animals. He created them before He created us. So I use the James Herriot title “All Creatures Great and Small.” You will be sorely missed, Demi Girl.

Demi is the Schnauzer who's ears stand straight up.  Her bud Dudley's ears bend down.  Dudley will miss Demi, too.  For the record, Dudley is a rescued Schnauzer.

because we're His,

~Tamara

Sunday, March 20, 2011

A New Day & A New Dawn

Zephaniah 3:5 (New International Version, ©2011)

5 The Lord within her is righteous; he does no wrong. Morning by morning he dispenses his justice, and every new day he does not fail, yet the unrighteous know no shame.

In glancing again at my selected title, I feel like I should change the music to Nina Simone singing "Feeling Good".

Tomorrow begins a new day and a new dawn as I begin my new job function at work.  I am so excited, so thrilled, and so blessed to have this opportunity.  Change is just that - change.  Neither good nor bad, but merely change and our ability to deal with it.  I so need change in my life right now and I am grateful the opportunity has been afforded to me.
 
I know there will be aspects of my former job that I will miss, such as working with the inmate dads in a program where I assisted them in learning to read children's books and would then record them on a DVD and they would send that and all the books home to their children.  It is a great program that focuses on the kids. A gentle sigh escapes here... I am up for new experiences and challenges! I welcome and embrace them!
 
So, my prayer for this day:  
Abba, Father ~ guide and direct my path as I begin this new career path.  May I seek You for wisdom, for strength and for peace when it is needed. 
 
As I pray here, I am ever mindful of the air strike levied against Libya yesterday by the NATO allies.  Father God, I am in such a quandary as to how I feel about this, but I realize that war is not healthy for children and other living things.  Then we have the events of the earthquake in Japan and the ever increasing destruction that is being uncovered.  Please, my Lord ~ be with all those throughout the world who are suffering.
because we're His,
~Tamara

Today's Upper Room Reflection:

SOMETIMES, O GOD, my thirst for you is pushed aside, ignored, or simply quenched by something other—something reasonable, something more popular—than you. But you never go away, never stop, never leave the depths of me. Like an underground spring, you are fresh and free, breaking through. Help me prepare a place for you in the caverns of my soul. Amen.
~ Pamela Hawkins
The Awkward Season: Prayers for Lent


And more of Today's Upper Room Reflections: (March 26, 2011)
SHOW ME THE WAY, O Christ,
to care for those who are hurting,
and weeping, and starving.
Teach me the way, O Christ,
to forgive those who are lying,
and wounding, and excluding.
Be light in the dark
and bread for the journey
that I might become
a living prayer for you in the world.
Amen.
 ~ Pamela Hawkins
The Awkward Season: Prayers for Lent







Saturday, March 12, 2011

The Whole of Holiness

My friend, Sherry Brady, gave me an article to read, "The Whole of Holiness"  written by Dr. Phil Amerson and Dr. Barry Bryant.

In this article, it mentions that to John Wesley, grace is the power of the Holy Spirit enabling us to believe, love, and obey. This grace and transforming power of the Holy Spirit is essential to the nature of our discipleship and it the essence of the wholeness of holiness.

My personal take on this article is that it isn't so much about our 'personal relationship' as it is about identifying who our neighbor is. Then after providing them food when they are hungry, asking the deeper question of, 'why are they hungry?" and helping to led them out of hunger, be it physical or spiritual. It is about social reform.

O Young and Fearless Prophet:
Stir up in us a protest
against our greed for wealth,
while others starve and hunger
and plead for work and health;
where homes with little children
cry out for lack of bread,
who live their years sore burdened
beneath a gloomy dread.

It's been a few years ago now, but I remember Martin Luther King Jr. and his peaceful protests - so very similar in nature to Ghandi.  His speech on "I've Been To The Mountain Top" can be found here: http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkivebeentothemountaintop.htm and speaks to Dangerous Unselfishness.

Have a wonderful weekend all, and it's day four of Lent, so my Decalogue for Daily Living is: Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.  And doesn't this fit in with social reformation?  God is good!
 
because we're His,
Tamara

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Shout to the Lord!

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
Worship the Lord with Gladness;
come before Him with joyful songs.
Psalm 100.1-2

Well, it's official with exception to having received a 'report' date - I'm taking a new position at the prison.  I successfully interviewed and competed for the position of Administrative Assistant II.  I so need to stop working with the inmate population.  I know my limitations and as such, I've been in the position of a librarian to the inmate population for four years too long.

I'm looking forward to using my administrative and organizational skills elsewhere.  I also know myself well enough to realize there will be days ahead in which I will internally comment, "why did I leave the other position?"  There will be days that I will miss my previous position. I know that as surely as I write this.

Which brings me full circle to today's scripture verse from Psalm 100: 1-2.  It is easy for me to shout for joy and worship with gladness when things seem to be going 'my' way.  But when they aren't or when the silence that answers my prayer is deafening, what then?  Has God left His throne? No, He has not.  Does God no longer love me or bless me?  No, that's not it either. 

I believe the message that the Lord is trying to teach me is that despite the feelings, despite the depression that I experience, there is joy and joy is so much deeper and different than happiness.  Happiness depends in part upon the happenings in my life and how I choose to categorize them as either a good thing or as a bad thing.

So for today and for tomorrow, I choose JOY!  And so I pray...
Abba, Father - fill me with Your Spirit.  Let the winds of Your love wash across my spirit and my being and fill me with joyful songs.  May my lips praise You.  May the words of my mouth glorify You.  May Your grace abound in my life and may it overflow to those whom I come into contact with.  AMEN!
because we're His,

Tamara

UPDATE - Sunday, March 6th, 2011:

Today's service and sermon were quite touching. As it was the first Sunday of the month, we celebrated communion and with the communion we were encouraged to pick up a broken shard of pottery from a basket. Then we were told to place it somewhere in our home where we would see it on a regular basis. Isn't that so like the Lord?  Speaking to me in all my brokeness? 

After the service, I spoke with Pastor and said perhaps we should all return our broken shards after Easter Sunday and then as God does, make something beautiful from all the brokeness.  So now, I have a vision.  A vision of all the broken shards being puzzle-pieced together in the shape of a cross: from supposed wholeness, to brokeness to re-birth.  ~AMEN!

UPDATE - Wednesday, March 9th, 2011:

Today, the Lenten season begins. I'm struggling to find something of intrinsic value to 'give up'. Chocolate? No, that's easy to live without. Meat? Well, I’ve already indicated I could easily become a vegetarian. A six week fast, but of what? I’m thinking… I’m thinking…

My official start date for the new position (Administrative Assistant II) is Saturday, March 19th, and I will report on Monday the 21st. I’m excited. I feel so blessed. Change is such a part of life. It is neither good nor bad. It is merely change and our ability to cope with it.

Abba, Father? What is it I can offer to you as a sacrifice for this Lenten season? It must be something of value to me.  That which costs me nothing is of no sacrificial worth.
Fellow blogger Rebecca at Life and Godliness may have found the solution for my Lenten season. She posted the following:
Only for Today Decalogue for Daily Living
1. Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.

2. Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behavior; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.

3. Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.

4. Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.

5. Only for today, I will devote ten minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.

6. Only for today, I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.

7. Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure no one notices.

8. Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils: hastiness and indecision.

9. Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.

10. Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for twelve hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life. (Pope John XXIII)
I will do each of these beginning with number 1 daily.  Tomorrow will be number 2, and on and on... This will mean that each one of these Decalogue's for Daily Living will be performed a total of four times.

Blessings to you all!