Just Breathe!

I watched him struggle for breath. His chest heaving. His face strained, pale and moist with sweat. A look of single determination was etched upon his face. Breathe, it read. Slowly.Purposefully.Deeply. Exhale – push out all the air, empty your lungs then breathe deeply, slowly again. Sit up straight in a hard back chair and TRY to relax.

He has struggled with asthma for the past 28 years. It began when he was 38. That is what first drove us to the VA Hospital back in Ohio. Is this service related? Is it from Agent Orange exposure? The tests there were "inconclusive" and rerun. We never heard back from them. For almost the same amount of years we have been seeking an answer as to the reason for the delayed onset of asthma.

It has been 23 years we have lived in the Southwest. The asthma is more controllable here, but it still affects his life, his standard of living, if you will. This past Tuesday he received written confirmation that the VA has determined this is service related. All medical expenses related to not only his cardiac issues, but now the asthma will be taken care of. Is this a “God Thing”?

Taking a step back to May 14^th. I filled out the form for a Hardship Transfer for his previous cardiac related disability and the need to be closer to the VA Hospital in Tucson – it is a 124 mile trek one way. I wrote a memo for consideration and attached the military / VA paperwork showing his ‘disability award’. Early on the 15^th, my supervisor read and signed the document and forwarded it through the chain-of-command. By that afternoon, I had it back in hand, all signed and approved. My supervisor said she had never seen one approved that fast – ever. Is this a “God Thing”?

Getting home from work, I told Husband the hardship transfer had been approved. We could plan on moving to Tucson. We placed an ad in the newspaper in an attempt to sell our home of 17-years. Within a week, we had a firm offer our home. Is this a “God Thing”?

This coming Saturday we are having “A Get Out of Dodge Moving Sale”. We are living out of boxes and will officially move on June 30^th. We are leaving 1400 sq ft of living space and moving into 700 sq ft of living space. Do you recall my goal for 2013? It was to simplify our life, to minimize our home – to downsize? Is this a “God Thing”?

My head is spinning. I am grateful. I am amazed. I am excited. I am apprehensive. I am in awe of what God can and will do! I shouldn't be, but I am.

So, how am I sorting through 17 years of accumulations? I have to ask myself honest questions: Do I own this or does it own me? If I get rid of this, will I be trying to replace it in a month or two? When is the last time I used it? Will I regret parting with this?

This is not our home. It is our temporary dwelling place. It became our home because of the imprint we have placed upon it and the love we have invested in it. That will also be found in our new 700 sq ft apartment!

I am finding this somewhat liberating – to part with accumulations! Here in America, most ‘third world’ inhabitants could live entirely off our discarded items.

Pray for us and our transition. The morning will come early and so with the bargain hunters. We will entertain any and all reasonable offers. Our memories however, are not for sale. We will keep and cherish them.

This reminds me of the elderly couple who lived behind us in Orrville, Ohio (home of Smucker’s Jams and Jellies!). They had owned and operated a Mom & Pop hardware store until it was sold and he retired. He would take off on walks in the neighborhood and get lost. Other neighbors or the police would bring him home. His memories were gone, but his precious wife was the torch bearer. She taught me so much by her Christian example. The personification of love she displayed for her Savior and for her ‘lost’ husband was beyond amazing. He was lost only to the memories they had once shared. She exemplified grace and dignity.

After the summer’s gardening season was ending, she brought a few items from her garden to my backyard where I met her. She was my gardening master and shared so much with me. She informed me they were selling their home and having an auction. They were to move to a residential care facility where they could be together their remaining days. I broke down and sobbed and she hugged me and said, “It is all right, we will be together in our final days. He may not know me now, but I know and remember him.”

The day of the auction I went to their home. I came away with a devotional book that had been hers. It was underlined and well read. I cherished it until it was time for me to pack up and move to another place, and another home.

God has been ever so faithful to bring persons into my life who have been unknowing mentors to me, even when they are merely living out their Christianity in everyday life events.

The little New Testament book of Philemon, reads as follows:

⁴ I thank my God always, making mention of you in my prayers, ⁵ because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints; ⁶ and I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ’s sake. ⁷ For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother(s) (and sister(s)!).

Things will be quiet on this end for a while, but that doesn’t mean you are not in my heart and in my prayers!

Simply yours,

Tamara

The Saga Continues

The story is told of two separate families who were both moving from their community to another.

The first couple approached their pastor at church as asked him about the community, since he had once lived there. They were especially interested in the type of people they would encounter and how the new neighborhood might be.  

The pastor asked them, “Tell me about your neighbors here.” The couple enthusiastically told the minister about their neighbors, about how kind, friendly and helpful they were. “Good news!” said the pastor, “that is exactly the type of people you will find in the community you are moving to!”  

The second couple came to the pastor with the same inquiry: “What are the people in this community like?”  

Again the pastor inquired about their current neighbors. The couple ran on and on about how awful their neighbors were; they were liars, thieves and not to be trusted at all!” “I’m sorry,” the pastor said, “the people in your new community are that very same way.”

I am happy to report that we have had wonderful neighbors these past 17 years! Even when homes have been sold and a new family has moved in we find we have had lovely neighbors.

We have found an apartment and will be moving at the month’s end. I am anxiously anticipating meeting our new neighbors and becoming a part of the community.

My place of employment is a mere 10-mile trek, a vast improvement over a daily commute of 72-miles! We will be much closer to the VA Hospital and clinic, our dentists and varied and sundry specialists!

We are downsizing from 1400 sq. feet to 700 sq. feet. You may recall that my prayer, my “word” if you will for the New Year was S.I.M.P.L.I.F.Y. and the Lord has been faithful! Now, if I will only be faithful and willing to part with “possessions”. 

We are arranging a moving sale. Our current community has a 24-hour Yard Sale spot on Facebook  so I will be downloading pictures of items for sale. We will arrange for a local non-profit agency to pick up anything left for their thrift shop.

My burning question when holding an item or contemplating selling it is this: “Do I own this, or does it own me? If I part with this, will I shortly go out and replace it or will I be able to live without it?”

Just as a matter of confirmation, when we were in Tucson last Thursday and Friday, Husband was having severe asthma, so early on Friday morning, I drove him to the VA emergency room. I don’t believe it was more than a 10-minute trek from our motel room.

As we may be brought to your mind, please remember us in prayer for this move and for journey mercies.

Simply yours,

Tamara

Luke 10:26-28The Message (MSG) 

²⁶ He answered, “What’s written in God’s Law? How do you interpret it?”

²⁷ He said, “That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself.”

²⁸ “Good answer!” said Jesus. “Do it and you’ll live.”

Wordless Wednesday

Are we worthy of being an example?

"Bless us that we will help people to be better than ourselves." 

This portion of a prayer shared on Grandma Honey’s blog resonated with me. Like the apostle Paul, I will say, as he did in Philippians 3:

7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. 

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

This just may be a goal that can be achieved! 

Can and will we help others to become better than we are? It may be in the example we set for our children or our grandchildren. Perhaps and even especially our example should extend to those we come into contact with in the work place and in the market place.

I believe even when we mess up, we can still be an example.

We need to admit we messed up and then for asking for forgiveness. Simply stated, sometimes we may serve as an example of how not to be a Christian! 

What a sad, sad commentary and observation this Gandi quote is, don’t you think? Sometimes Christians do have a tendency to act a bit more “superior” than those who aren’t believers. Then when we have someone fall out of the ranks, we tend to ostracize them to the point of 'shooting our wounded'. Should we not endeavor to pour the oil of kindness, the oil of mercy, and the oil of grace on the wounded and bind up their injuries? If we do not come along side of them who will? The enemy? Do we then allow them to become prisoners of war?

During the formative years in our children’s lives, we attended small (read dying) churches. Generally the members were older, disgruntled, and didn’t like having  children interrupt their standard of worship. Our children WERE the youth group. 

I wish we would have done that differently. I wish we would have found alive and vibrant churches where our children could have been nurtured and directed other than what they got from home devotions and our example, or sometimes the lack of example. Or even the legalistic attitudes we displayed rather than unconditional love. It took us until grandchildren to learn this valuable lesson. (Learn from our mistakes!)

This weekend, as ever busy as it has been, I still have observed Husband as he is setting example after example to and for our Grandson. Husband is the epitome of unconditional love and forgiveness and lavishly extends it to our Grands.

Our Grandson will remind us to “pray” if he feels we are not going to at meal time. He remembers too, to ask to be excused from the table and will “catch” us, if we, the adult role models forget to do so! He is loving, patient and forgiving. These are attributes I see in his Grandpa, too. I like to think that Grandpa has helped to mold this Grand’s character in some fashion.

And so I pray, "Bless us that we will help people to be better than ourselves."

Simply yours,

Tamara

1 Timothy 4:12   New American Standard Bible

¹² Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. (And especially to those who don’t believe!)

Silent Sunday