Thursday, July 5, 2012

Reluctant Pilgrim

Patient God,
instill in me a desire for honesty and authenticity in my walk with you. Open my eyes to watch you as you slip through corners in the boxes I foolishly create for you.

Thus begins chapter one of Reluctant Pilgrim, by Enuma Okono (you can find her blog here).This was a devotional I read in the Upper Room on April 20th of this year. I knew I had to purchase this book. I’ve not been sorry.

She touches upon feelings… emotions… topics that I ‘feel’ but generally don’t dare talk about with church family. You know them, don’t you? Those feelings of ‘all this must apply to everyone but me’. The feeling of being in the midst of a crowd yet still feeling totally and utterly alone and not understood? Of going to a Women’s Seminar and seeing the joy in everyone else… but feeling hollow and empty inside? This is Enuma’s story and of her walk with God and of her 'calling'.

Ironically, I had spoken with a younger woman at church about these very feelings earlier this spring and she brought them up to me! I admitted to having those feelings and shared with her that even though I have them on occasion, that does not mean I am not God’s and that I am not called by Him. What it means is that I struggle with my humanity. I struggle with grace, marvelous grace and the progression (and sometimes the digression) of becoming a sanctified and Godly woman. (Will this ever happen in this realm of my walk?) When I've completed this book (a short read by the way of merely 181 pages) I believe I will give it to her to read and then to share with someone else.

I am leaving a week from Friday for a trip to Ohio. My daughter is having surgery on Monday the 16th and I want to be there for her and to 'mommy' her. She has already given me a list of foods to fix for her recovery! She is having thyroid surgery for a rather fast growing goiter. The radioactive scan showed it was malignant. The second opinion included a biopsy of each lobe. One was benign and the other was 'suspicious'. So we won't know a thing until it is removed and pathology gets their hands on it. Please pray for Shannon.

What are you currently reading? 

Will you share your book with someone else? 

Do you have an electronic reader?
I haven't been able to 'do' an electronic reader yet. I just like the feel and smell of a book and the fact that I can put it on my chest while I ponder something I've just read or even jot something in my journal from the book.


P.S. casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 
1 Peter 5:7


  1. My dear Tamara, my prayers are with Shannon for a positive outcome post surgery. My heart and thoughts are with you all during this uncertain time. Please keep us updated and please know how special you and your family are.
    Hugs across the globe.

    1. PS: no electronic/Kindle readers for this girl yet - I too LOVE to feel and smell a book!

    2. Thank you Rose, for your thoughts and concern for my Baby Girl! I see we remain Kindred Spirits with our reading, too!


  2. I will keep Shannon (beautiful name!) in my prayers, and you too. I hope all goes well, and I'm glad you can be with her, and your banner picture really seems to fit this post.

    I too have felt that empty feeling inside, and a feeling almost of envy for those around me who seem so loving, and so giving, and so spiritually fulfilled. It's a struggle.

    I love book-books, I don't think I will ever get into electronic books, nor do I think I would ever enjoy 'books on tape'. I do enjoy seeing movies made from books, but I usually come away feeling that the book was so much better than the movie. The characters and the scenery in the movies seem sorely lacking compared to my own imagination and the pictures that the authors have created for me I guess.

    I just finished reading Killing Lincoln and I loved it! It was thrilling, it was riveting, I could not put it down. I read it in two days, and now I want to go back and re-read again right away!
    I never did well in History or Geography in Grade School or in Social Studies in High School. I just never could keep timelines, facts, figures, names, or dates straight in my head, it was a jumbled mess to me. And I hated any and all war stories.
    I'm still bad with names and dates, but I do find it all so fascinating now.

    Safe travels.
    Love and Prayers,

    1. Thank you for the well wishes and prayers for my Baby Girl!

      Like you, I didn't do history well in a classroom environment. Geography I liked and Social Studies were interesting, but history... now, I love it! Funny what age does for someone, isn't it? Now I must search out "Killing Lincoln"!

  3. i will be praying for shannon and know all will be well.
    i'm reading several things at once. "what alice forgot"
    is an interesting book my friend gave me and is teaching
    me to not lose sight of what is important.

    1. Thank you for your prayers for my daughter. I must see if I can find a review on "what alice forgot"!


Thank you for stopping in. Your comments are a source of encouragement.