Thursday, July 5, 2012

Reluctant Pilgrim

Patient God,
instill in me a desire for honesty and authenticity in my walk with you. Open my eyes to watch you as you slip through corners in the boxes I foolishly create for you.

Thus begins chapter one of Reluctant Pilgrim, by Enuma Okono (you can find her blog here).This was a devotional I read in the Upper Room on April 20th of this year. I knew I had to purchase this book. I’ve not been sorry.

She touches upon feelings… emotions… topics that I ‘feel’ but generally don’t dare talk about with church family. You know them, don’t you? Those feelings of ‘all this must apply to everyone but me’. The feeling of being in the midst of a crowd yet still feeling totally and utterly alone and not understood? Of going to a Women’s Seminar and seeing the joy in everyone else… but feeling hollow and empty inside? This is Enuma’s story and of her walk with God and of her 'calling'.

Ironically, I had spoken with a younger woman at church about these very feelings earlier this spring and she brought them up to me! I admitted to having those feelings and shared with her that even though I have them on occasion, that does not mean I am not God’s and that I am not called by Him. What it means is that I struggle with my humanity. I struggle with grace, marvelous grace and the progression (and sometimes the digression) of becoming a sanctified and Godly woman. (Will this ever happen in this realm of my walk?) When I've completed this book (a short read by the way of merely 181 pages) I believe I will give it to her to read and then to share with someone else.

I am leaving a week from Friday for a trip to Ohio. My daughter is having surgery on Monday the 16th and I want to be there for her and to 'mommy' her. She has already given me a list of foods to fix for her recovery! She is having thyroid surgery for a rather fast growing goiter. The radioactive scan showed it was malignant. The second opinion included a biopsy of each lobe. One was benign and the other was 'suspicious'. So we won't know a thing until it is removed and pathology gets their hands on it. Please pray for Shannon.

What are you currently reading? 

Will you share your book with someone else? 

Do you have an electronic reader?
I haven't been able to 'do' an electronic reader yet. I just like the feel and smell of a book and the fact that I can put it on my chest while I ponder something I've just read or even jot something in my journal from the book.


P.S. casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 
1 Peter 5:7