Saturday, October 13, 2012

Breaking the Silence

Poetry has always spoken to my heart, to my spirit. I imagine that is why I often turn to the Psalms for consolation.

The poem I have selected to share was written by an inmate in the Arizona Department of Corrections. He probably writes about the drug scene better than anyone I have ever read. He doesn't romanticize it, but spills it in words that wrench your gut and bring you to your knees. 

When released from prison, Aberg moved out of state and continued to write. Eventually he died from hepatitis - this a result of the life style he lived.

I would read this poem in the prison library to the inmate patrons. You could hear an audible in-take of air at the very end of the reading. Then the room filled with silence... reflective silence.

Our own son was sentenced to prison (again) this week. He will be serving 2.5 years, with credit for time served. 

We wish him well. This is his second time in prison. It grieves his father and I so. We will continue to pray for him. We will no longer enable him. He will receive no money from us, nor will we visit him. We told him this after the last sentence was served and he returned home. This sounds very cold to some of you, I'm sure. But this is necessary. For him. For us.

I leave you with this:

William Aberg

It’s too easy
to describe: the match flame
charring the spoon, the blown veins,
the ravenous ghost who throws stolen
gold and gems into a lake
of pain that ripples
out in circles to everything

it loves. I remember
now, in April, the old chapel
on a hill of mountain laurel, windy
maple and oak, grass
speckled white with dogwood blossom—
There in the flickering red
scent of the votive cups,
my mother genuflects and turns to kneel
under the feet of the Virgin, slips
some coins in a box, and prays,
lighting a wick in my name, that I might find
healing, keep healthy, have enough
to eat. That I know how much

she loves me. But that I never come home again.

Broken Hallelujah


  1. this is WHY i love bloggers. i learn to understand
    the life of a drug addict and his poor mother. i
    will be praying for your son and i will anticipate the
    inevitable intervention of God's mercy.

  2. My heart aches for you, your husband and your son Tamara. I can only imagine how difficult and painful this must be for you but some things just can't be helped. Enabling isn't a good thing. I will pray for you all. It seems there are so many on my prayer list today. It's sad.
    Love Di ♥

    1. Thank you Di. Our focus is now on the children he is leaving behind. How is your son doing?

  3. Sending prayers for your family, my friend. As we wait for the return of our Lord, I pray for peace and happiness for your sweet Grands. The love of our children and grandchildren cannot be measured. From one Mother and Grandmother to another, please know that I think of you with love in my heart.

    1. Thank you Jackie. You've always been most kind and loving. I so appreciate that about you. How is your Momma?

    2. Tamara...she's was very sick in August and September (in the hospital both months.) As a matter of fact, we thought she wasn't going to make it through her last hospitalization (she has congestive heart failure and she got pneumonia)...but praise God, she is now home, better, and we are going to go back to our North Carolina mountain home together (my hubby, Mama, Daddy and I) tomorrow (Thursday.)We will spend lovely family time together there. Thank you for asking. She is a fighter...loves the Lord, and talks to Him constantly. I smile when I say that, because it's true. When she was in the hospital, (I stayed with her 24/7 while she was in there)...she would say something, and I would ask her to please repeat it because I couldn't quite hear what she was saying. I thought she was talking to me. She turned her head to me and smiled and said, "I'm talking to my Lord." They have a bond that's unbelievable, and apparently, He isn't ready for her to be called to her heavenly home yet. He isn't finished with her here yet!!...and selfishly, I have to say that I am so glad that He isn't!
      Love you, Tamara...and you can count on the fact that I pray for your sweet Grands each night. I do.


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