Egypt Revisited

Personal blogging has been on the back burner for a while. Visiting your websites has allowed a glimpse into your lives and there has been a measure of comfort and familiarity with that. Thank you.

This move, apartment living and the job transfer have been unsettling in some manner. Surely it must be the difficulty of change after all these years, wouldn’t one think? Change is neither good nor bad, it is after all, merely change and our ability to deal with it (or not…). 

Therein is the problem. It has been a season of mourning, if you will. Sitting on a Pity Pot and straying down depression’s path has taken its toll. Truly, this move and all that surrounded it were covered in prayer and the answers and solutions were so swift in arriving there was no doubt they were divinely ordained! Looking back as I have been, I should be a pillar of salt, not unlike Lot’s nameless wife.

It is time to flush that Pity Pot and get on with it!

My new supervisor is absolutely wonderful! However, as I was “unexpected” and just showed up to work unannounced (due to the hardship transfer) other staff have been… well, less than gracious and somewhat territorial in some aspects and downright rude in others. Difficult as that is, it is recognized and recognizing it means it can be managed to some degree.

What is the function of an Administrative Assistant? Part and parcel of it is to ensure your supervisor is successful and that is the goal set before me. There is a job to do and I will do it to the very best of my ability. My success is not based upon popularity or persons even ‘liking’ me. As professionals we need not to be ‘bosom buddies’ or even friends, we need to establish a cohesive working relationship (period).

Steve Shoemaker has written: “When times get hard and God seems nowhere to be found, the consolations of what we can see and touch, taste and smell are awfully appealing: the feel of gold, the taste of skin, the smell of the soil, the sea. Golden calves often beat out the impalpable God.”

I’ve wanted to return to Egypt when the simple truth is I’ve tasted the Manna and I will be satisfied with nothing less.

I need to remember that life should be lived as Eucharist Theology. Hearts, like the bread, are made to be broken yet loved in all that brokenness. 

We should live our lives as spilled wine, allowing ourselves and our lives to overflow, spill out and come into contact with those who desperately are thirsting.

We need a community of faith that will allow us to do that… allow us to serve in some capacity… It isn’t about us – it’s about community. It isn’t about where we live – it’s about community. It isn’t about work – it’s about community.  No longer desiring Egypt, I long for Emmaus…

Spimly yours,

Tamara

Luke 24New King James Version³⁰ Now it came to pass, as He sat at the table with them, that He took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. ³¹ Then their eyes were opened and they knew Him

Are we worthy of being an example?

"Bless us that we will help people to be better than ourselves." 

This portion of a prayer shared on Grandma Honey’s blog resonated with me. Like the apostle Paul, I will say, as he did in Philippians 3:

7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. 

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

This just may be a goal that can be achieved! 

Can and will we help others to become better than we are? It may be in the example we set for our children or our grandchildren. Perhaps and even especially our example should extend to those we come into contact with in the work place and in the market place.

I believe even when we mess up, we can still be an example.

We need to admit we messed up and then for asking for forgiveness. Simply stated, sometimes we may serve as an example of how not to be a Christian! 

What a sad, sad commentary and observation this Gandi quote is, don’t you think? Sometimes Christians do have a tendency to act a bit more “superior” than those who aren’t believers. Then when we have someone fall out of the ranks, we tend to ostracize them to the point of 'shooting our wounded'. Should we not endeavor to pour the oil of kindness, the oil of mercy, and the oil of grace on the wounded and bind up their injuries? If we do not come along side of them who will? The enemy? Do we then allow them to become prisoners of war?

During the formative years in our children’s lives, we attended small (read dying) churches. Generally the members were older, disgruntled, and didn’t like having  children interrupt their standard of worship. Our children WERE the youth group. 

I wish we would have done that differently. I wish we would have found alive and vibrant churches where our children could have been nurtured and directed other than what they got from home devotions and our example, or sometimes the lack of example. Or even the legalistic attitudes we displayed rather than unconditional love. It took us until grandchildren to learn this valuable lesson. (Learn from our mistakes!)

This weekend, as ever busy as it has been, I still have observed Husband as he is setting example after example to and for our Grandson. Husband is the epitome of unconditional love and forgiveness and lavishly extends it to our Grands.

Our Grandson will remind us to “pray” if he feels we are not going to at meal time. He remembers too, to ask to be excused from the table and will “catch” us, if we, the adult role models forget to do so! He is loving, patient and forgiving. These are attributes I see in his Grandpa, too. I like to think that Grandpa has helped to mold this Grand’s character in some fashion.

And so I pray, "Bless us that we will help people to be better than ourselves."

Simply yours,

Tamara

1 Timothy 4:12   New American Standard Bible

¹² Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. (And especially to those who don’t believe!)

Go Ye Therefore!

We moved to that 20 acre farm to begin serving a mission. The Hubs was sure God was calling him to be in aviation ministry. Me? Not so much. I could not fathom traversing to the remotest part of the earth, walking though the jungles and marshes, picking leeches off my legs to let the peoples know that Jesus loves them. I’m not making light of missionary endeavors, I’m simply telling you where I was at that point in time.

One Sunday our church hosted a couple to come and speak to the congregation about their missionary work. I felt safe as their missionary work was in France! I could do France! A romantic language, good food, fashion, and croissants! Yes… I felt safe with this couple making a presentation.

Approximately five slides (yes… it was that long ago) into their presentation they stopped at a picture of a four seater Cessna plane. The couple began expounding upon the virtue of those in mission aviation. I was only three rows (pews) from them and I’m sure the look of horror upon my face spoke volumes to them.

If that didn’t then perhaps it was the low, guttural sounds and sobbing that did it. It could have been either, I don’t recall. I was wailing, weeping and rocking in my seat. Persons from rows ahead were turning to look at me as if I were possessed by an evil spirit!

What I do recall was it was at that precise moment that I knew the Lord wanted my attention. More than that, He wanted my willingness to follow Him in obedience.

We visited and applied to become missionaries at Missionary Maintenance Service (MMS). MMS prepares aircraft for missions while training aircraft mechanics for mission service. This isn't the normal training someone in a technical school would receive, meaning you don’t take a part off the shelf and replace the inoperable on, often you have to fabricate the part or repair it so it will work.

A large part of this endeavor was to raise our own support by visiting churches and finding those who would contribute on a monthly basis. I learned a lot from these treks. We would attend the church service to give a small “tickler” about mission aviation and then return for the evening service where we had the entire service.

I learned that small rural, struggling churches were the most generous as were the ‘widows’ who lived on a fixed income. They would either have a pot-luck to honor us or the Pastor and his wife would have us in for a home cooked dinner.

I learned that being invited to large metropolitan churches was a sometimes empty endeavor. One such occasion when we were invited to a large church in Akron Ohio, I had a feeling, just a nudge and told the Hubs to be sure we had enough money for fuel and for meals, should it be necessary. It was. There was no pot-luck, there was no one who offered to take us and break bread with us and there was no “love offering” to help with the travel expenses. We had to spend the hours between services in our vehicle on a hot, muggy summer’s day.

I am ever so glad that “nudge” was from the Holy Spirit! I want you to know that I’m not sharing this out of spite or meanness but only because I want to grow up to become like those widow women!

I also don’t mean for the “empty endeavor” phrase to sound opportunistic or self-serving. What I hope this post will do is stir you into action or service should a missionary every visit your church. If possible ask before hand if you can host a pot-luck for them. Or ask them to dinner; slip them some cash to help with travel expenses.

Just open yourselves to the gentle whispering of the Holy Spirit. 

We never were able to raise our support to a level that would sustain a four member family and Hubs health issues also precluded that. But such a learning experience it was. I also learned that our mission may be in our own backyard.

Tamara

PS 

Isaiah 6:8

Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” 

PSS

What I was really thinking at that time was, "Here am I. Send Dennis!"

Weekend Events

This coming week entails traveling to Phoenix for training. The plan is to leave on Tuesday, the 31^st and the training will last until Friday, the 3^rd. Four of us will be traveling and staying in the same motel.   

I’ve printed out all the training materials and policies and feel as if I’ve killed at least an entire tree. All this to become an Equal Employment Opportunity Liaison for those staff who may have a complaint or questions regarding the law and our agency policies that govern said behavior or misbehavior.

But for now, I have the weekend. A long weekend as I took Friday off. Dennis and I traveled to Tucson for dental appointments. I had a very good exam and cleaning and it appears the investment in the sonic toothbrush has paid off! Minimal buildup and scaling! At least that’s how it worked out for me. Dennis’ appointment wasn’t quite as good. He has some serious decisions to make regarding his dental care.

We took the ‘long way’ home and stopped to pick up our grandson Zachary for the weekend. I was up early this morning cleaning veggies and fruit for the weekend. He already told his Gam’Pa he wants dippy eggs for breakfast with toast AND waffles AND bacon! In our home, Dennis is the breakfast maker.

I’m planning on making my homemade mac and cheese only it will be more like noodles Alfredo with some broccoli thrown in for good measure. I’m not sure if I want to begin the brownies now our wait for Zachary to wake up and help – decisions, decisions. I will prepare the homemade ice cream mix – it’s always good to have that ready to go in the refrigerator.

I have all the blueberries, red grapes, broccoli, cauliflower, celery and carrots cleaned and ready to go. My hands are prune-y from being water logged, but that’s a small price to pay for eating well and fixing things I know he likes to eat at Gam’Ma’s.

Dennis has made an appointment to visit our son in jail this afternoon. I will not be going nor do I wish for Zachary to see his father like that. Remember, I work in prison and it is and has always been difficult for me to see the small children who come to visit their parents in this environment.

Zachary said a few things yesterday that were difficult to hear and it showed the level of hurt and anger this little four year old is feeling. His mom shared that he told her that his dad is dead and then he (and she) cried and cried about it. His mom said he’s begun sucking his thumb again, has even wet the bed and is angry all the time. I talked to his mom about finding some counseling for him, but she is without insurance and they live in such a rural area I don’t know if it will be possible. Zachary told us on the way home that, “My Dad broke my Mom’s heart.” I wanted to cry…

I don’t understand how this generation cannot think through the consequences of their actions or of the innocents they leave in their wake.

In the meantime, Dennis and I will be loving and hugging on Zachary. We will reassure him that he is loved by us, by his mother and by his father and most assuredly by God.

Proverbs 31:9

New American Standard Bible

⁹ Open your mouth, judge righteously,
and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.

Tamara

Today's Devotional Scripture

Today's Verse

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.

~Proverbs 4:6 NIV

Thoughts on today's verse...

One of the qualities most ascribed to Solomon is his wisdom. Solomon prays: "Give Thy servant an understanding heart to judge Thy people and to know good and evil."1 Kings 3:9 "So God said to him, "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked..."" (1 Kings 3:11-12)

The Bible also states that: "The whole world sought audience with Solomon to hear the wisdom God had put in his heart." (1 Kings 10:24)

One account, known as the Judgment of Solomon, has two mothers who came before Solomon to resolve a quarrel about which was the true mother of a baby. (The other's baby died in the night and each claims the surviving child as hers.) When Solomon suggests dividing the living child in two with a sword, the true mother is revealed to him because she is willing to give up her child to the lying woman rather than have the child killed. Solomon then declares the woman who shows the compassion is the true mother, and gives the baby back to her.

Wisdom and understanding are qualities we should desire. I think along with wisdom and understanding comes discernment, which is also a desired quality. (And did you notice that wisdom is referred to with feminine pronouns?)

My prayer...

Lord God, Father of all heaven and earth - grant me wisdom, understanding and discernment. May I be slow to speak, but careful to listen. In Jesus' name I pray. ~Amen

Yours, because we're His,

Tamara