Saturday, November 9, 2013

Stones of Remembrance

I watched him. I scrutinized him closely. I witnessed the way he lovingly treated his mother. I observed the respect he gave his grandmother and his sisters. I knew I would be safe with him. I knew somehow that my name would be safe and sacred in his mouth. 

This may be a strange reflection, but I also noted how animals and small children reacted to him. They were drawn to him because they knew in a primal sort of way that they were safe in his presence.

I knew in the very core of my being, deep within my soul that if anything befell me, if I became incapacitated or my health failed he would care for me in a gentle, sure manner. I knew the marriage vows of ‘in sickness and in health’ would not be taken lightly by him. What choice did I have but to marry him?

May 19th will mark 35 years since we were married. We can add another two years to the mix for the dating and engagement period. This was a second marriage for each of us.

Like any marriage, we don’t see eye to eye on some subjects. There have been times I’ve wanted to walk away, call it quits and start all over again.

I am sure he too, has felt this way, especially four years ago when I quit smoking cold turkey. I am surprised he is still with me! OH.MY.GOODNESS!

If we were inclined to be controlled by our feelings, I’m sure that would have ensued. Even through those heated times, we’ve found we can discuss (or debate) our varied opinions.

What we have learned is that feelings are fleeting and subject to change. To quote from the movie The Princess Bride, “and wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva…”. Love is an act of volition – it is an active choice we make every single solitary day, despite the fact that almost everything in our society conspires against it.

On October 12th, I began an excruciating process of trying to pass a 6mm kidney stone. That resulted in my hospitalization, a CT scans and a laser surgery on the 14th. A second CT scan was ordered due to there being another kidney stone and the urologist wanted to see if it had moved. It hadn't so now I am scheduled for another surgery on Monday, November 11th, with what I hope will be the end result of extraction of the 5mm stone!

Meanwhile, from my previous eye exam I was referred to an ophthalmologist due to having secondary cataracts. This past Monday, the 4th, I had yet another laser procedure to eliminate the secondary cataract in my left eye. The result is amazing. Yesterday I tested out at 20/20 vision in that eye. The surgery is scheduled now for the right eye. Who knows? Perhaps I won’t need glasses any more!

I’m getting good at these laser procedures – the Star Wars procedures, if you will from one end to the other!

Throughout all of these medically related health concerns, Husband has been caring for me and very nicely, I might add. I’ve had a myriad of medications that have made me dizzy, caused my balance to be off, cause tiredness and dried me up like an antihistamine. He drives me too and from work (Rx label caution/warnings) and to my appointments. He’s cleaned, done all the laundry, cooked and doted over me.

More importantly, he set aside his plans for a trip to Ohio to visit his 92 year old mother. I have felt so bad about that and told him as much. He insists it is no imposition. I am so blessed. His reply to me on the delayed trip was, “She still alive and even if she does pass, she will be in the arms of Jesus.

Rebecca posts at http://lifeandgodliness-rebecca.blogspot.com/ has been sharing about her mother and the issues that surround aging and Alzheimer's. Rebecca is chronicling this difficult process and how it is impacting her and her father’s life. She does this with such grace and dignity.

Although I’ve been reading the bloggers I follow, I haven’t posted comments as I get so tired at times. I so hope that changes when I no longer have to take all the medication. I am confident that I will be on the mend soon and totally recuperated!

Simply yours,
Tamara
P.S.
Matthew 19:6Good News Translation

So they are no longer two, but one. No human being must separate, then, what God has joined together.”