Stones of Remembrance

I watched him. I scrutinized him closely. I witnessed the way he lovingly treated his mother. I observed the respect he gave his grandmother and his sisters. I knew I would be safe with him. I knew somehow that my name would be safe and sacred in his mouth. 

This may be a strange reflection, but I also noted how animals and small children reacted to him. They were drawn to him because they knew in a primal sort of way that they were safe in his presence.

I knew in the very core of my being, deep within my soul that if anything befell me, if I became incapacitated or my health failed he would care for me in a gentle, sure manner. I knew the marriage vows of ‘in sickness and in health’ would not be taken lightly by him. What choice did I have but to marry him?

May 19th will mark 35 years since we were married. We can add another two years to the mix for the dating and engagement period. This was a second marriage for each of us.

Like any marriage, we don’t see eye to eye on some subjects. There have been times I’ve wanted to walk away, call it quits and start all over again.

I am sure he too, has felt this way, especially four years ago when I quit smoking cold turkey. I am surprised he is still with me! OH.MY.GOODNESS!

If we were inclined to be controlled by our feelings, I’m sure that would have ensued. Even through those heated times, we’ve found we can discuss (or debate) our varied opinions.

What we have learned is that feelings are fleeting and subject to change. To quote from the movie The Princess Bride, “and wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva…”. Love is an act of volition – it is an active choice we make every single solitary day, despite the fact that almost everything in our society conspires against it.

On October 12th, I began an excruciating process of trying to pass a 6mm kidney stone. That resulted in my hospitalization, a CT scans and a laser surgery on the 14th. A second CT scan was ordered due to there being another kidney stone and the urologist wanted to see if it had moved. It hadn't so now I am scheduled for another surgery on Monday, November 11th, with what I hope will be the end result of extraction of the 5mm stone!

Meanwhile, from my previous eye exam I was referred to an ophthalmologist due to having secondary cataracts. This past Monday, the 4th, I had yet another laser procedure to eliminate the secondary cataract in my left eye. The result is amazing. Yesterday I tested out at 20/20 vision in that eye. The surgery is scheduled now for the right eye. Who knows? Perhaps I won’t need glasses any more!

I’m getting good at these laser procedures – the Star Wars procedures, if you will from one end to the other!

Throughout all of these medically related health concerns, Husband has been caring for me and very nicely, I might add. I’ve had a myriad of medications that have made me dizzy, caused my balance to be off, cause tiredness and dried me up like an antihistamine. He drives me too and from work (Rx label caution/warnings) and to my appointments. He’s cleaned, done all the laundry, cooked and doted over me.

More importantly, he set aside his plans for a trip to Ohio to visit his 92 year old mother. I have felt so bad about that and told him as much. He insists it is no imposition. I am so blessed. His reply to me on the delayed trip was, “She still alive and even if she does pass, she will be in the arms of Jesus.”

Rebecca posts at http://lifeandgodliness-rebecca.blogspot.com/ has been sharing about her mother and the issues that surround aging and Alzheimer's. Rebecca is chronicling this difficult process and how it is impacting her and her father’s life. She does this with such grace and dignity.

Although I’ve been reading the bloggers I follow, I haven’t posted comments as I get so tired at times. I so hope that changes when I no longer have to take all the medication. I am confident that I will be on the mend soon and totally recuperated!

Simply yours,

Tamara

P.S.

Matthew 19:6Good News Translation

⁶ So they are no longer two, but one. No human being must separate, then, what God has joined together.”

The Move

The move is complete and we are all moved in. I begin work at a new facility Monday. This prison facility is far larger than the one I left behind. Where I was, the inmate population was approximately 1,530 inmates. Where I will be working the inmate censes is approximately 5,065. Yes indeed, a 33.1% increase.

This new adventure in our lives has not been without its challenges, disappointments, and frustrations. It is merely another sampling of life in its totality. We have run the gamut of mourning the loss of our home, to wondering “what were we thinking?” to looking at each other and resolving, “we can do this… we’re going to be alright.” Living in an apartment complex is a melding of people into community. Yes, I can do this.

Poring over 17 years of accumulations and determining what we will keep and what can go has been difficult at times and at the very least, thought provoking.  I believe we have saved family members the grief of having to sort through items “in the event of”. Mind you, we still have plenty, just not the mass quantities we previously had.

I’ve commented a number of times that someone from a third world nation could live off my discards and I am not kidding!

Once the movers unloaded all our possessions from the house (1,400 square feet) into the apartment (700 square feet) it was immediately obvious we STILL had too many items.

The other evening I went through our DVD collection with the intent of purging. I did the initial sort with the discard pile and the keep pile. I got up, fixed myself a glass of ice water (it has been extremely hot here in the SW, even for the SW) then set back down and went through the keep pile a second time. I am finding this method of culling the herd works best for me. We have a wonderful used book / DVD / CD music store called Bookman’s close by. We will be taking the excess DVD’s and books there for exchange credit. Recycling at its finest!

I brought twelve purses with me and did not have the storage area for them. Again, I purged, then I purged yet a second time. That left me with four purses. We found female neighbors willing to take them off our hands. Twelve purses – REALLY? What was I thinking? Did I suppose I needed one for each month of the year?

We eliminated all of our Christmas decorations (containers and containers of them). I did keep my tree topper, but even as I look around the apartment I cannot fathom where anything other than a 2-foot tree might go. I’ll consider this further during the holiday season as it really isn’t pertinent now. (Really, I’m thinking a Norfolk pine…)

I have learned something about myself. Something others have subtly pointed out or laughed about before – I become paralyzed with clutter! There was a Captain at work who would occasionally set something in the filing room, then approach me and say, "Is this going to be OK? You’re not going to ‘vapor lock’ or anything, are you?” I would always assure him it was alright, but honestly, when I entered the room, I could feel myself tense up and hurry to finish my task and leave the area!

I must also say that I am not that person who will rent a storage facility to store items I am not using! REALLY? If not using them then sell, donate or give them away!

Joshua Becker has a wonderful blog – becoming minimalist (you can visit by clicking on the link). His eBook was a helpful inspiration in determining what to keep and what to eliminate. It is a weekend read chock full of helpful hints in how to eliminate the clutter of our lives.

My next adventure in culling will be my closet. I say my closet because there is no room for Husband’s clothing items in there! His are in bedroom #2’s closet, taking up all of probably 18 inches of space. With this being said, I already eliminated the three bags of “maybe someday I will fit into this again” clothing. If I ever do lose the weight, I want new clothes. So, from this day forward, I promise to not bring something new into my closet unless I remove something from it. A one for one trade is my goal, my plan.

As much as it hurts to say this, I also want to eliminate shoes. I have perhaps three pair that are my “go to” shoes. Why are the others taking up valuable space? It is my mother, isn’t it? She is the one who gave me such a love of shoes! Generally speaking, my philosophy towards clothing, purses, shoes and accessories was a girl can’t have too many!

My decorating is much simpler.  I will not have as much on the walls. It consists of one picture, one clock, one plaque, and my collection of crosses. All items will be looked at for having a dual purpose – can it be used for storage? Is it multi-functional? Under bed storage is my new reality for blankets and bed linens. We purchased a hassock that doubles as a storage unit for board games, DVD’s and art supplies.

We have a lovely dresser with a mirror that will NOT fit into either bedroom. We hate to break up the set, but we will be posting it on Craig’s List for sale. Right now, the TV is sitting on it and the mirror is in the small storage area where the water heater is located.

We are next going to sort through our many photographs and sort out selections for our children. We will accumulate a box for him and a box for her. Then we will send them out to them, with exception… The exception to this rule is our son. We did rent a storage unit for his possessions and we will put his pictures in there for safe keeping.

Purely, simply, I want to own my possessions and not the other way around. I want them to be functional and useful, not sitting and accumulating dust. I don’t want someone going through my items “in the event of” and wondering, “What was she thinking?”

I watched with wonder at the persons who came to “shop” our moving sale. I wondered about how their homes looked. There were a few whom I felt surely must be hoarders. Through the years I’ve seen them at every yard sale I’ve ever attended.

Our advertised sale was to begin at 7 am and people began to arrive before 6 am. We opened early as we didn’t want to not sell an item and have to move it with us! All in all, it was a most successful moving sale.

Even with yard & moving sales, organization is important. Having similar items grouped together as well as a semblance of organization helps persons to find an area of interest and comb over it.

Some items hadn’t even been priced as we opened the doors, so when an inquiry was made, we would say, “What seems fair and reasonable to you?” and we were off on negotiating a fair price.

We visited a church this morning that is relatively close to our home. It is a United Methodist and we selected the contemporary service. We enjoyed the worship and the senior pastor seems to have a sincere passion for his vocation. He challenged the congregation by stating several times that God has given us all a call in our lives, what is that call? Indeed, what is my call?

I do know what I am passionate about and it does seem to be issues that deal with justice and its application within the community.

In doing my devotional the other day, the saint that is being spot lighted is Alice Paul (on July 9^th). They had a brief bio on Ms Paul and stated that if she had taken a spiritual gifts test, she probably would have been a “prophet”. They had a link for a spiritual gifts test, so I took it. It turns out that I too, tested out as a prophet! Who knew?

We will see where the Lord leads us to worship next week. We are in no hurry to make a decision just yet.

With all this being said (read written…) the Lord has been faithful to hold my feet to the task of simplifying and minimizing my life!

Simply yours,

Tamara

Proverbs 13:7

The Message (MSG)

⁷ A pretentious, showy life is an empty life;

    a plain and simple life is a full life.

Silent Sunday

A Little Update

The half cast removed

An update on our grandson Zachary is in order. He is healing nicely and the half cast was replaced with a full cast on Monday. He is still not allowed to bear weight on the leg for three weeks. 

His mother had business in town so she and Zachary stopped in and visited with the Hubs, in fact he kept Zachary for a bit while his mom did some errands. Alas... I was at work. 

Gam'Pa and Zachary played as well as one can with a broken leg, put a 100 piece puzzle together and then just set together and snuggled down enjoying each other's presence. Much like we (read I) should with God... 

Even though pre-school is postponed for awhile, Zachary has continued to learn. The Pastor’s wife at the church they attend has been taking him and his two older brothers and teaching them on Wednesday evening. She has been teaching them the books of the New Testament. Zachary can rattle them off up to Colossians. In fact, according to his mom, he has surpassed his older brothers and he just rattles them off in short order. 

Where some of the stitches were and the drain tube

I had been trying to teach him the Pledge of Allegiance and would say a phrase and then he would repeat it. When we had finished, he asked, “Ga’Ma? Do want to be invisible?” I laughed and laughed about that.

Our granddaughter Abby spent part of last Saturday in the emergency room getting stitches in her forehead after falling on the stairs. She is doing well and knowing Abby, this is merely part and parcel contributing to her badge of courage!

Stitches on the outside of his leg

The New Cast

Matthew 18 New American Standard Bible 

¹ At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” ² And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, ³ and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

Now for the pictures Gam'Pa took yesterday:

Working on the Puzzle

Looking at the Puzzle Box

Waiting for us to sign his cast first! Awww!

Showing off the cast

Thank you for all the prayers!


Tamara

Thanksgiving 2011

Norman Rockwell

WE GATHER TOGETHER

We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing;
He chastens and hastens His will to make known.
The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing.
Sing praises to His Name; He forgets not His own.

Beside us to guide us, our God with us joining,
Ordaining, maintaining His kingdom divine;
So from the beginning the fight we were winning;
Thou, Lord, were at our side, all glory be Thine!

We all do extol Thee, Thou Leader triumphant,
And pray that Thou still our Defender will be.
Let Thy congregation escape tribulation;
Thy Name be ever praised! O Lord, make us free!

Words & Music: This song of praise was orig­in­al­ly writ­ten in 1597 to cel­e­brate a Dutch vic­to­ry. It ap­peared in Ne­der­landtsche Ge­denck­clanck, Adri­an­us Va­ler­ius (Haar­lem, Hol­land: 1626) (Wilt heden nu treden). Ar­ranged & trans­lat­ed from Dutch to La­tin by Ed­uard Krem­ser in Sechs Al­tnie­der­länd­ische Volks­lied­er (Leip­zig, Ger­many: 1877) Trans­lat­ed from Ger­man to Eng­lish The­o­dore Bak­er, 1894.

Thank You, Lord, for the constant of hope that you add to every aspect of our lives. Teach us to listen for your goodness and grace, and to communicate truth to the world every hope-filled day of our lives. Amen.

Thanksgiving blessings to you and yours!

Psalm 95:2

Good News Translation (GNT)

² Let us come before him with thanksgiving
and sing joyful songs of praise.

Tamara

Be Ye Glad!

The second cataract surgery was this past Tuesday and is a success!  There is still a bit of discomfort if I over-use my eyes (FB, Blogger, email…) but I am amazed at the difference.  

The colors are brighter and images at a distance so much clearer.  The right eye was done in September and I was amazed, but now with both of them completed I am stunned at the difference. 

The vision in my right eye improved to 20/25 and the ophthalmologist said I could possibly get away from prescription lenses and merely use readers!  Who knew?  I have an appointment for next Tuesday and will have the eyes checked then.  I’m anxious to know the measurable improvement.  It will be awhile down the road before the eyes are checked for prescription lenses, however. 

I still have what the doctor calls “a foggy spot” on the lens of the right eye, but he said he will laser that in three months and it should take care of the ‘issue’.  The only difficulty I’m aware of is the night vision halo but he indicated it would resolve itself with the laser treatment.  Still, all in all, I am thrilled and more than amazed with the results.   

Thanksgiving is just around the corner!  It will be a quiet one for us this year.  Our daughter lives in Ohio and just began a new (and exciting) job, so she won’t be joining us here in Arizona.  Our son is reconciling with his son’s mother after four years and they will be spending the holiday together as a family unit. That leaves the two of us this year.  That’s probably a good thing since I’ve just had the eye surgery.  

I prepared my very first Thanksgiving meal at the age of 19 and what an experience that was!  I left the packet of giblets inside the bird.  I didn’t know it was there and fortunately, it was in parchment paper and then surrounded by my dressing.  I am still surprised we didn’t get food poisoning!  I believe there were six of us for that dinner and it was a solution to ‘who would go where and leave the remainder of the family offended that we didn’t spend it with them’.   

Those choices have always been difficult in families and combined families with one set getting angry and upset over who you’re spending it with this year.  We determined quite sometime ago that would not be the case with us – we support no guilt family holidays. 

My mother recently had her own medical crisis, so they will be staying in their home and having their own dinner.  They are approximately five hours from our area so the travel is extensive.  We will be speaking by phone, I’m sure as we will with the rest of the family. 

We checked in the community and can find no community meal being served as we thought we’d like to volunteer to help with that.  So, we’re contemplating ordering a “full meal” from our local grocery / deli instead of doing it all up ourselves or we could go to a local restaurant for the meal.  I’m leaning towards the grocery / deli meal as we could have leftovers for later!  I will have to purchase fresh cranberries and make the relish!  It just isn’t Thanksgiving without the fresh cranberry relish!  I also found a recipe for cranberry relish that incorporated fresh jalapeño peppers!  I just might have to try that in addition to the standard one. This is the Southwest after all! I'll let you know the results!

Our church is having their annual Thanksgiving meal this coming Sunday, so we will not be without “family” in that sense.  Our names fall into the dessert category and Dennis is the pie maker in our family, so it’s all him this year!  I have a friend (Roxanne) who makes the most amazing pumpkin rolls!  I’d love to have that recipe – hint, hint!  

That’s all for this edition and blessings to you and yours until next time! 

Psalm 92:4

New King James Version

⁴ For You, LORD, have made me glad through Your work;
I will triumph in the works of Your hands.

Tamara

Post Script 11/22/2011:  I had a check up on the surgical eye today - the vision is 20/20 in it! The vision in the first eye I had surgery on is 20/25.  I am more than happy and so thankful!  I will still require readers and I can live with that!  In fact, I took all my old prescription glasses - 4 pair of them, and placed them in the donation box for someone else to use!

Seasons of Life

I've decided that change is inevitable.  Change is neither good, nor bad.  It is merely change and our ability to adapt to it and roll with it.

Change used to be difficult for me to accept and would throw me into a tailspin.  Now, I welcome change.  I have only to look at the seasons and realize without change there is no growth, no progress. 

Admittedly, there are often times when change seems to be happening all too rapidly and I struggle to keep up.  In all honesty, sometimes I am a rather reluctant participant to change.  

Looking again to nature, I need to have my roots firmly planted like the mighty oak. Yet I need be pliable and bendable like the graceful willow; able to withstand the winds of change. 

Recently, my mother had a health scare.  She had a vein burst in her brain and was taken to the hospital for several days.  Everything has turned out well, but in the interim my thoughts were random, fleeting and troubled with the “what ifs” in life and in health.   My Oh So Independent Mother didn’t want me to travel the several hundred miles to be with her.  As she said it, “I wanted you there with me when I had my mastectomy (and I was) but I’m alright.  I will let you know if I want you here.”  Bless her heart! 

A bit more than six months ago I made rather significant job change – still with the same agency but an entirely different job function.  I struggled a bit in getting back into the administrative field and still do at times.  However, for the most part and I am extremely happy with the change, the new responsibilities and the persons I work with. 

The church we attend has this wonderful “Clothing Exchange”.  Persons are encouraged to bring something and take something.  This time it provided me with the opportunity to purge my closet of clothing I had hoped to one day get back into.  Suffice it to say that my closet was jam packed full, but I’m happy to say that is no longer the case!  I was even most conservative in my selection of two jacket/blazer type items I can use for work. 

Our church has a wonderful Wednesday after school program called Sidewalk Sunday School. A lot of children who normally don’t go to any formal church attend this program.  Some of the kids with their moms are now coming to church.  The clothing exchange is a wonderful opportunity for the moms and their children to get clothing at no cost.  This is especially important as a number of the families are low income.   In our country’s current financial condition we all are feeling the economic crunch.  I feel honored and blessed to be able to participate in an event like this.  The Hubs is a volunteer for the Sidewalk Sunday School program, bless his heart! 

What changes are you facing at this time?   

How are you dealing with it/them?

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

New International Version (NIV)

¹ There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³ a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.  

Tamara

PS - I am having extreme difficulties leaving comments on some of your blogs.  I'm not sure what the issue is but it just won't let me.  Perhaps it is the laptop the upgraded Windows, I just don't know.  I'm reading you! I just cannot leave a comment.

Added 11/04/11: From my Devotional -

All change involves leaving behind something known
in order to move toward the new and unknown.
It means releasing the way things were
in order to embrace the way things are and the way things will be….
Understanding our past is important,
but our lives are meant to be lived in the present and into the future.
—Leigh Harrison

Viva la Memories!

I grew up in an extended family. My mother’s mother (my Nanny) lived with us.  That was a common occurrence back then, but no longer is the norm in our society.   

I also remember older women as friends of the family.  Often they were widows.  One woman in particular that I remember was Viva (pronounced VI – va).  Viva LaRue Schott.  She was a woman of strength and dignity. 

Streams in the Desert

Rainy seasons in Arizona are a curiosity. Even though it is called the Monsoon Season more often than not, it is a non-soon. This year has been a blessed exception for a dry and barren desert, one fraught with savage wildfires.

An 11-year-old drought has bruised Arizona's billion-dollar cattle ranching industry, pushing one of the vaunted “Five C's” of the state's traditional economy closer to extinction. Arizona's five major resources: Cattle, Citrus, Climate, Copper, and Cotton are commonly referred to as the “Five C’s”.

Memorial Day 2011

Luke 7:1-10 (NRSV)

After Jesus had finished all his sayings in the hearing of the people, he entered Capernaum. A centurion there had a slave whom he valued highly, and who was ill and close to death. When he heard about Jesus, he sent some Jewish elders to him, asking him to come and heal his slave. When they came to Jesus, they appealed to him earnestly, saying, "He is worthy of having you do this for him, for he loves our people, and it is he who built our synagogue for us."

And Jesus went with them, but when he was not far from the house, the centurion sent friends to say to him, "Lord, do not trouble yourself, for I am not worthy to have you come under my roof; therefore I did not presume to come to you. But only speak the word, and let my servant be healed. For I also am a man set under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to one, 'Go,' and he goes, and to another, 'Come,' and he comes, and to my slave, 'Do this,' and the slave does it."

When Jesus heard this he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd that followed him, he said, "I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith." When those who had been sent returned to the house, they found the slave in good health.

In Jesus' day, Jews did not enter into the homes of Gentiles. The centurion knew this, so he was being considerate of Jesus in saying, "I do not deserve to have you come under my roof . . . just say the word, and my servant will be healed." Isn't it amazing that this Roman had such faith in Jesus?

Further, when Jesus "healed the sick", it no where mentions that He healed 'some of the sick' or only those who had 'enough faith'. Not the 'righteous'. Not the 'deserving' among the sick.  But "the sick."

Each time Jesus healed, knowing the person's heart and mind, He had to forgive not only the past sins but those in the future too. 

I find this comforting. He heals me, too. Of my past sins and of my future sins.  May I live in accordance with what it is I believe!

Now, back to our Centurion - and to our soldiers of today: to those who are under the 'authority' of a commander and carry out the orders they are given.  Bless you! And may you be reunited with your loved ones soon.

My prayer:

Abba, Father~ hear my prayer! Help us to watch over your children near and far.  Help us to work for a world where wars end and soldiers fight no more. ~Amen.

Yours, because we're His,

Proverbs 11:30 (New International Version)
30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and the one who is wise saves lives.

Winter was difficult here in the Southwest. Freeze and thaw, freeze and thaw… I don’t recall how many times that happened this past winter but it took a toll on trees in our area. We contracted with a professional tree trimmer who came this week and fell our eucalyptus tree. We’d had the fast growing tree for 15 years, had it ‘topped’ at least twice and it was still probably close to 40 feet tall. It was a difficult decision to make, but it was more dangerous to let her stand. (Why have I given the tree a feminine pronoun?)

The tree doctor and his assistant came at 6 a.m. to begin their work. I left for work early as I knew I would fret and mourn the loss of this tree and its shade – a valuable commodity here in Arizona. Even though the tree did not produce leaves this year and was obviously dead, it was still a difficult (and let’s not forget pricey) decision.

So the contractor began laying out his equipment. The saws, the ropes, the harnesses, the safety belts and the spikes for his boots… That’s when I saw him, he placed the safety belt/harness around the tree, then held the tree with both hands, bowed his head and prayed. I was amazed and comforted!

I left for work and at the end of the day dreaded what I would find (or better - not find) in my back yard when I returned home. The contractor cleaned up so well and even stacked the wood for our later use in the fire pit. The tree trunk was level to the ground. My husband Dennis had planted some geraniums around the patio, moved the Mexican clay chiminea to a new spot and had moved the water fountain to a new spot where I can sit on the patio and look and listen to it.

Dennis said the tree doctor found three nests in the tree – two old and unused and one that still had eggs in it. He said the tree doctor prayed over the nest before removing it. We had some Mourning Doves that we’re thinking were the eggs owners/family.

I am comforted by the fact the birds are still visiting what we had deliberately designed as a sanctuary for them and for the care, comfort and concern of our contractor! What a blessing in spite of loss. The remaining portion of the tree trunk is now holding a bird bath.

And so I pray:

Abba, Father – thank you for Your provision in not only the tree but in also leading us to the right contractor for its removal. Thank you that it was only one tree that needed to be removed and not the other two in addition. May our back yard be a place of respite and comfort for our grandchildren and for the birds that come to feed. In Jesus’ name I pray ~AMEN!

Yours, because we’re His,

Today's Devotional Scripture

Today's Verse

In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
~1 Thessalonians 5:18

Thoughts on today's verse...

Now that's a tall order! In everything... give thanks? What about marital difficulties or divorce? What about illness and cancer? What about the death of a child? What about infertility? What about an innocent person being sentenced to prison? What about a guilty person not having to serve prison time? So many injustices... and yet the Word tells us to give thanks? Wouldn't God know we were just giving Him 'lip service' and not meaning it from the depths of our soul?

I may not be able to give thanks for some of the above issues if they haven't affected me personally, but I can cultivate an attitude of thankfulness for God's work in me as I try to glean the lessons of loss. And some of those trials I've experienced have made me the person I am today.

Today is the two month point since I had the 'heart attack'. It was quite the wake up call. Merely two weeks before it, I had asked our Women's Group to pray for me, as I wanted to quit smoking. I told them I just wanted the Lord to remove it. Little did I know His plans to remove it! And you need to understand, smoking was my 'best friend' for a number of years. It was always there when everyone else walked out or away, comforted me when no one else would or could. But my 'friend' demanded a great price - financially, physically, emotionally and socially.

Well, it's been two months now and my 'friend' and I have parted ways. There are times I miss my 'friend' and desire to have that relationship reinstated... but all I have to do is recall the first two weeks without cigarettes and I don't want to go through that again! I praise and thank God that He brought me face-to-face with my addiction. I am healthier now, walking two - three miles intentionally six days a week. I can breathe without effort. And now, I can even ride a bike around the block and run for about 500 feet! What a vast improvement. I'm still waiting to be 'released' by my cardiologist so I can return to work. I miss my work and the service I provide in my specialized library.

My prayer...

Lord God, there are so many things in this world that we believe are injustices. Help me to not get caught up in them and be brought down by them. When I see these things in a person's life, I can bring it before Your throne of grace. But as for the trials I've experienced... thank you! They are being used to mold me and shape me into a new and improved version that will hopefully reflect You! ~Amen!

Yours, because we're His,

Tamara

P.S. There was no posting over the weekend. It was quite busy with both grandbabies here. A two year old and three year old take a lot more energy than I remember. We usually have only one, so I'm thinking of just posting a "weekend edition". Hugz to you all!