In Prison
knowing you have a place to lay your head, food to eat,
not telling lies about your comings and goings,
the strange calls, people knocking at the door at all hours
Trying these past years to know you
to break through the barrier,
to love unconditionally,
accepting the person you have become,
hating that which I was unwilling or afraid to admit
I once tried to convince myself I had been given the wrong child
at birth, that you belonged to some Amish couple of inter-relational
relations but the evidence is overwhelming
I will miss your innocence and so will you
as you pass from one portal to another
not having the luxury of touch
nor the pleasure of scent but only the daily reminder
of razor wire and what you forfeited for the sake of pleasure
But for now
you have a place to lay your head, food to eat, no lies to share
you will be older than you can imagine when you utter freedom
I mourn
I grieve
and yet I love
~ tamara
farner-swerline