Advent

Emily Dickinson's poem is about hope. I had this poem in its entirety published in the prison library. I had it made into a mobile that gently swayed with the breeze. Hope is often like that. A gentle breeze that offers a kiss of coolness to a dry and parched soul. Sunday heralds advent. Something long waited. Something greatly anticipated. Advent gives us a glimmer of hope.

I love the advent song O Come, O Come Emmanuel. It was composed in a minor key and has the haunting familiarity of loss and of pain and that of the eventual arrival of hope! The words of the hymn state that God comes for everyone – the joyous and the grieving, those who celebrate and those who mourn.

The song addresses our need of a Savior. It addresses our various stages of life. In that haunting minor key, it tells us that Emmanuel — God-with-Us — comes to comfort the grieving, the mourning, the sad, and the lonely.

This promise, this hope awaits us and all those who mourn — and we rejoice. “Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.”

This advent season may you prepare your hearts for the inclusion of Emmanuel. May you rejoice in anticipation of the coming season.

Simply yours,

Tamara

P.S.  Isaiah 61:1-3 (TLB) 

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the suffering and afflicted. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted, to announce liberty to captives, and to open the eyes of the blind. ² He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of God’s favor to them has come, and the day of his wrath to their enemies. ³ To all who mourn in Israel he will give: beauty for ashes; joy instead of mourning; praise instead of heaviness. For God has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory.

The Bread That Was Broken

This past Sunday Husband and I were the “Meet-ers and Greeters” at church. It was also a time of communion – the bread that was broken… the blood that was shed for the forgiveness…

Our Pastor has asked us in the past to help serve the elements, but most generally I respectfully decline. The melody that plays around and around in my mind in a very minor chord is, “I’m not worthy… I’m not worthy…” and in all honestly, I am not. However, something began to change in my heart during Holy Week.

Palm Sunday with the shouts of “Hosanna” and lying down of the palm fronds and coats to honor a king fades into a black, heavy silence and the week progresses. Then comes Thursday, Maundy Thursday and the feast of the Passover and the institution of Communion.

We celebrated the Passover feast in our Fellowship Hall followed by a foot washing. It was moving, so moving I wept. To understand the Passover and the symbolism that leads us to the cross is amazing… is humbling… To wash another’s feet is humbling too.

Then Thursday gives way to Friday, Good Friday. Our Good Friday service was a Tenebrae service. The name Tenebrae is the Latin word for “darkness” or “shadows.” The lights were dimmed and the only light was provided by 16 candles with scripture versed from John 18:1 – John 19:42 broken into to 16 segments. At the end of each scripture reading, a candle was extinguished until we were left in darkness… and silence. It was moving and I wept even more as I reflected upon the sacrifice, and the darkness, and the shadows, and the sin…

But then comes Sunday and the empty tomb! Alleluia!

A week later we are asked to participate in offering the communion elements and we agree. As the congregation approaches, one by one – I break off the bread and say, “the body of Christ, broken for you” and Husband holds the chalice of “wine” into which the bread will be dipped saying, “the blood of Christ, shed for your forgiveness.”

My dear sister in Christ, Sherry, is the pianist and she is playing “Sing Alleluia” softly in the background. When I recognize it, my eyes moisten yet again. It is the song what was sung in candlelight to the pilgrims during the Emmaus weekend.

Some churches have closed communion. Others have open communion. I am not here to debate this issue. I am only here to share with you how the Lord has used this Holy Week to pierce my heart. How I became a willing servant to share the elements with my spiritual family. Even so, Amen!

Simply yours,

Tamara

John 13:12 - 17
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. 

BRING THE SPRING

Psalm 1:3

New Living Translation

³ They are like trees planted along the riverbank,
bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither,
and they prosper in all they do.

Perhaps you noticed the more colorful blog background. I need color… I need spring… I need the joy of the Lord to fill my soul. Therefore, beginning today I am going to expound upon the positive and minimize (but not ignore) the negative. Oh, this does not mean that I am going to be wearing 'rose colored glasses' but as long as it is possible, I will seek to find the good in life. I choose to live a life of dignity and grace.

No one, not one person wants to read a sad and depressing article, letter or blog! We need articles and information that help to build us up and now bring us down. Amen?

I received my feedburner update from Julie Gillies blog and it was timely indeed!

Tamara

Weekend Events

This coming week entails traveling to Phoenix for training. The plan is to leave on Tuesday, the 31^st and the training will last until Friday, the 3^rd. Four of us will be traveling and staying in the same motel.   

I’ve printed out all the training materials and policies and feel as if I’ve killed at least an entire tree. All this to become an Equal Employment Opportunity Liaison for those staff who may have a complaint or questions regarding the law and our agency policies that govern said behavior or misbehavior.

But for now, I have the weekend. A long weekend as I took Friday off. Dennis and I traveled to Tucson for dental appointments. I had a very good exam and cleaning and it appears the investment in the sonic toothbrush has paid off! Minimal buildup and scaling! At least that’s how it worked out for me. Dennis’ appointment wasn’t quite as good. He has some serious decisions to make regarding his dental care.

We took the ‘long way’ home and stopped to pick up our grandson Zachary for the weekend. I was up early this morning cleaning veggies and fruit for the weekend. He already told his Gam’Pa he wants dippy eggs for breakfast with toast AND waffles AND bacon! In our home, Dennis is the breakfast maker.

I’m planning on making my homemade mac and cheese only it will be more like noodles Alfredo with some broccoli thrown in for good measure. I’m not sure if I want to begin the brownies now our wait for Zachary to wake up and help – decisions, decisions. I will prepare the homemade ice cream mix – it’s always good to have that ready to go in the refrigerator.

I have all the blueberries, red grapes, broccoli, cauliflower, celery and carrots cleaned and ready to go. My hands are prune-y from being water logged, but that’s a small price to pay for eating well and fixing things I know he likes to eat at Gam’Ma’s.

Dennis has made an appointment to visit our son in jail this afternoon. I will not be going nor do I wish for Zachary to see his father like that. Remember, I work in prison and it is and has always been difficult for me to see the small children who come to visit their parents in this environment.

Zachary said a few things yesterday that were difficult to hear and it showed the level of hurt and anger this little four year old is feeling. His mom shared that he told her that his dad is dead and then he (and she) cried and cried about it. His mom said he’s begun sucking his thumb again, has even wet the bed and is angry all the time. I talked to his mom about finding some counseling for him, but she is without insurance and they live in such a rural area I don’t know if it will be possible. Zachary told us on the way home that, “My Dad broke my Mom’s heart.” I wanted to cry…

I don’t understand how this generation cannot think through the consequences of their actions or of the innocents they leave in their wake.

In the meantime, Dennis and I will be loving and hugging on Zachary. We will reassure him that he is loved by us, by his mother and by his father and most assuredly by God.

Proverbs 31:9

New American Standard Bible

⁹ Open your mouth, judge righteously,
and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.

Tamara

Comfort Food

When I was a child, we had a garden. There were things that grew in that garden that I would not eat. Cabbage, Brussel Sprouts, spinach, broccoli. I did eat the corn, the tomatoes, green beans my Nanny fixed with a bit of bacon.

I sometimes would help my Dad in the garden. When he planted, he always did it in three's: "one for you, one for me and one for the bird" is what he said. I now refer that as Dad's Trinity Planting Procedure.

I remember being called out in the cold autumn evening when a frost alert was declared and I would help harvest the tomatoes and other produce by flash light. It was not uncommon to end up with tomatoe on my face as Dad was fond of pulling them off and into me! Horrors! 

Within the next day or two my Nanny would cook up a grand pot of homemade vegetable soup. As I recall, everything but the beef in that soup was from our small urban garden.

I've developed new tastes since then and where I once referred to Brussel Sprouts as aborted cabbage, if only to emphasize my distaste for them I now have a deep and abiding fondness for them.

So tonight, I become the Brussel Sprout Gourmet - if only for the sake of my Daughter! Shannon, this post is for you and it is on how to fix Mommie Dearest's Brussel Sprouts!

Clean your Brussel Sprouts by immersing them in water. Trim the ends off then cut them in half. Allow them to soak for a while. Clean, slice and dice an onion. You can do all this while cooking up three slices of bacon you have diced. When the bacon crips, remove it to a plate lined with paper towel and let it drain.

Add the onion to the drippings and in another pan, sauté 2 - 3 tablespoons of Piñons (raw pine nuts). [I keep mine frozen as they turn rancid fast. They are also good raw on a salad!] Drain the Brussel Sprouts and keep watching the onion - you don't want it to burn! When the Piñons have turned a golden color, remove and drain them on paper towel, too.

 

Once the onions are "just right" add the Brussel Sprouts to the pan and stir well, add about 1/2 cup of Chicken Stock and a splash or two of Basalmic Vinegar. When it comes to just a boil, reduce the heat and cover with a lid and cook it for about 8 minutes. 

Remove it from the heat, put it into a serving dish and top with the bacon bits and Piñons and serve it up!


These are probably not the healthiest of veggie dishes, but they are perfectly "YUM"!

Psalm 34:8

Common English Bible

⁸ Taste and see

how good the LORD is!

The one who takes refuge in him

is truly happy!

Happy eating Baby Girl!

Your Momma - Grammy Tammy!

Comfort Ye

One of our society’s newest clichés is, “that which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”  I don’t believe this. We have only to ask… 

• the survivor of a concentration camp
• the parent who has made funeral arrangements for a child
• the battered and abused child / woman / person
• the burn victim with horrible disfigurement
• the veteran who has returned home, yet suffers with post traumatic stress disorder
• the homeless person
• the survivor of a natural disaster
• the stay-at-home mother whose husband has walked out on her and their small children
• the husband who returns from work to find his wife has walked out on him and their children
• the person who has suffered atrocities due to conflict and war
• the family members of an addict 

Life is painful. We may survive. In some cases we may even thrive. But often there is brokenness left in the wake of personal disaster.  Today I  find comfort in the Psalms. 

Psalm 34:18
Common English Bible

18 The LORD is close
to the brokenhearted;
he saves those whose spirits
 are crushed.

Psalm 51:17
Common English Bible 

17 A broken spirit is my sacrifice, God.
You won’t despise a heart, God,
that is broken and crushed.

Psalm 147:3
Common English Bible 

3 God heals the brokenhearted
and bandages their wounds

Tamara

Slow Dancing

Have you ever noticed that as you hold a baby, you instinctively started to sway?  It’s a slow dance of sorts, one in which we sway to the rhythm of love.  This sway happens with babies because it calms, soothes and comforts them.  It is an instinctive move, built into the very core of our being. 

I wonder how many times in a given day God would like to rush down, snatch us up, and sway with us to the rhythm of His heart, of His love.  How often would God like to break through all the other voices and noises in our lives to reassure us that we’re OK?  We’re going to make it.  We’re loved.  We’re cared for.  We’re not alone…  

I’ve noticed this same swaying rhythmic dance when I’m hurting – either an actual physical hurt or an emotional hurt.  Tears can be streaming down my face and I am rocking, rocking, rocking…  My conversations with God at times like this are more of a rant rather than a prayer.   

Whether you feel, or think, or believe you are not worthy of God’s love doesn’t matter.  You can’t change His love.  You are the beloved of God.  Nothing you do, say, or choose can change God’s love.  Nothing — not time, not death, not life, not culture, evil, good — can change who you are.  You are the beloved of God.  

We can try to fill our lives with other loves, other ‘things’, and worldly distractions but it is as St. Augustine said, our hearts are restless until they rest in God.  We will always be out of step, out of sway, until we know and live as people who are truly loved by God. 

It’s been a rather difficult several weeks for our family, for our extended family.  We are hurting.  We are hurting for the poor choices that have been made. For the all too familiar past that has been repeated and for the consequences that have inevitably followed.  Our son is in jail.  This is due to his poor choices, his lies, his behavior and his lack of discipline.  He has lost his job and his family. 

For half his life, he has been defiant and has had run-ins with the law.  He's an addict and Meth is his drug of choice.  I am angry.  I am hurt.  I am trying to find within my being the capacity for forgiveness… yet again.  My biggest concern is the children he is leaving in his wake. 

I struggle with how transparent I wish or want to be with this blog.  How much should I or will I share.  I do not wish to come across as Saint Tamara the Pious because I struggle with the day-to-day issues.  I struggle with the hurts of having a rebellious son who just seems to be caught up in a Peter Pan syndrome and refuses to grow up. 

Yet try as I might, I have difficulty realizing the choices he makes are just that – his choices and his decisions.  Inevitably they will be his regrets.  For now, I have to back away from this situation.  That sounds cold, doesn’t it? 

So my prayer for now, for today is that the God of all comfort will envelope me, my husband, our son and those he has left in his wake and sway with us in the rhythm of His love.

Did you notice the new background design - a quilt.  A "comforter"... comfort from the Comforter.  I so need to be surrounded and wrapped in His love, His grace, and His comfort.

2 Corinthians 1:3
Common English Bible

3 May the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ be blessed! He is the compassionate Father and God of all comfort.

Global Warming

... or so they say! We've lived in Arizona 21 years now and this is the rainiest season I recall. Not that it is a bad thing, Arid-zona can always use moisture. I'm just not used to it being tropical here.  Our small, raised bed garden is looking like the jungles of Viet Nam and the mosquitoes are horrible!  My Grandson Zachary and I are both allergic to mosquito bites so I'm trying to find something 'natural' to repel them.

Stones of Remembrance

Genesis 28:17-19 New American Standard Bible

17 He was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.” 18 So Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on its top. 19 He called the name of that place Bethel; however, previously the name of the city had been Luz.

In the old testament scriptures, stones were set out as a memorial for something important and as noted above, Jacob poured oil on the top of the stone.  He anointed it. 

Today, I too have anointed my stone of remembrance.  It has been two years since the heart attack and the same amount of time since I've had a cigarette.  All my recent lab work came back within good ranges. My cholesterol levels are within range and it has been one year since I've taken any 'heart' medications. I only take a low dose aspirin daily.  I'm sure I'll be seeing the cardiologist soon, I'm just waiting to see when they set it up. I'll probably need the dreaded stress test - so aptly named.

Now, before this begins to sound like 'happily ever after' I do confess to having bouts of really wanting to smoke a cigarette. But I don't, thank God. I simply think back to the quality time I spent with Jesus in the MedEvac helicopter and the first two weeks of going cold turkey. I don't want to have to do that again, ever!

The exercise has gone by the wayside and it shows. I need to begin a walking regime again. I did have an occasion where I was transported to the hospital from work - a bit of a fainting spell. Alright, two - I had two near episodes where I had to lay down on the floor before I fell down.  The verdict was dehydration and low protein levels. 

I was going great guns on trying to become vegetarian.  Too well, evidently.  So the carnivore in me has reemerged. But tempered. I'm also using a protein powder and making healthy smoothies with frozen berries, vanilla yogurt and a banana thinned out with orange juice!

On Wednesday of this week, my husband will be having a procedure to manually extract a 12 mm kidney stone. As I understand it, they will try to break it into a manageable size and then place a stent in his kidney. Eventually the stent will need to be removed.

We, the aging Baby Boomers are having health concerns! Thank God for medical insurance and the ability for me to take time off work to assist Dennis with his issues.

And so I pray:

Abba, Father ~thank You for Your provisions and for Your grace.  Thank You for allowing us the privelidge of living where we do and for the benefits provided through my employment. Be with us as we begin to experience health concerns and issues. In Jesus' name I pray ~AMEN!

because we're His,

Proverbs 11:30 (New International Version)
30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and the one who is wise saves lives.

Winter was difficult here in the Southwest. Freeze and thaw, freeze and thaw… I don’t recall how many times that happened this past winter but it took a toll on trees in our area. We contracted with a professional tree trimmer who came this week and fell our eucalyptus tree. We’d had the fast growing tree for 15 years, had it ‘topped’ at least twice and it was still probably close to 40 feet tall. It was a difficult decision to make, but it was more dangerous to let her stand. (Why have I given the tree a feminine pronoun?)

The tree doctor and his assistant came at 6 a.m. to begin their work. I left for work early as I knew I would fret and mourn the loss of this tree and its shade – a valuable commodity here in Arizona. Even though the tree did not produce leaves this year and was obviously dead, it was still a difficult (and let’s not forget pricey) decision.

So the contractor began laying out his equipment. The saws, the ropes, the harnesses, the safety belts and the spikes for his boots… That’s when I saw him, he placed the safety belt/harness around the tree, then held the tree with both hands, bowed his head and prayed. I was amazed and comforted!

I left for work and at the end of the day dreaded what I would find (or better - not find) in my back yard when I returned home. The contractor cleaned up so well and even stacked the wood for our later use in the fire pit. The tree trunk was level to the ground. My husband Dennis had planted some geraniums around the patio, moved the Mexican clay chiminea to a new spot and had moved the water fountain to a new spot where I can sit on the patio and look and listen to it.

Dennis said the tree doctor found three nests in the tree – two old and unused and one that still had eggs in it. He said the tree doctor prayed over the nest before removing it. We had some Mourning Doves that we’re thinking were the eggs owners/family.

I am comforted by the fact the birds are still visiting what we had deliberately designed as a sanctuary for them and for the care, comfort and concern of our contractor! What a blessing in spite of loss. The remaining portion of the tree trunk is now holding a bird bath.

And so I pray:

Abba, Father – thank you for Your provision in not only the tree but in also leading us to the right contractor for its removal. Thank you that it was only one tree that needed to be removed and not the other two in addition. May our back yard be a place of respite and comfort for our grandchildren and for the birds that come to feed. In Jesus’ name I pray ~AMEN!

Yours, because we’re His,

Wordless Wednesday

Today's Devotional Scripture

Today's Verse

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-11 NASB

Thoughts on today's verse...

Here it is, 4:00 a.m. and I've been awake now for an hour.  That's one of the effects of depression, at least for me at this stage of my life.  When I was much younger it was sleeping, as if that would eliminate the problem and everything would be well and good when I awoke.  Or perhaps it was just that during sleep time, I didn't have to deal with anything.

David wrote a number of Psalms and in some of them, it sure sounds as if he also was afflicted with depression.  Psalm 42 is an example of depression and despair and yet the way it begins, "As the deer pants for the water, So my soul pants for Thee, O God."  Then in verse 11, "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?  Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance, and my God."

In 1 Kings, chapter 19, Elijah had a very successful endeavor against Jezebel's prophets, and yet when Jezebel sent a messenger to to him saying she was going to have him killed, he became afraid and ran for his life.  He told God, "It is enough; now O Lord, take my life..."  He sounds despondant and suicidal, yes, depression or even bi-polar disorder! 

In these examples, I find much hope, much comfort knowing that the Lord God, creator of all heaven and earth has included these examples to let me and others know that perhaps at times we will face depression and yet we can overcome it.  If not by ourselves, then with the help of a health care provider. 

There are some folks who believe that if you're a Christian then you should never be sick, never have financial challenges and always be on the winning edge of life.  If that is the case, then why are the examples I've cited in Psalms and 1 Kings given to us?  Just a question... I don't have the answer, but I am comforted by the examples as they allow me to relate on an even deeper level to the Word of God.

And then you dear ladies and yesterday's emails and comments.  How you comforted me with your words and prayers!  Just like today's verse in 2 Corinthians.  Thank you so much for your kindness.

Today's Prayer...

Lord God, Father of all heaven and earth, hear my prayer... thank you so much for my sisters who have comforted me in my distress.  Thank you for Your Spirit that ministers to us in our affliction and despair.  Thank you for Your Word that helps us to relate to You.  Through all of this, My Lord, I choose praise, I choose thanksgiving.  In Jesus name I pray ~Amen!

Yours, because we're His,

Tamara