Slow Dancing

Have you ever noticed that as you hold a baby, you instinctively started to sway?  It’s a slow dance of sorts, one in which we sway to the rhythm of love.  This sway happens with babies because it calms, soothes and comforts them.  It is an instinctive move, built into the very core of our being. 

I wonder how many times in a given day God would like to rush down, snatch us up, and sway with us to the rhythm of His heart, of His love.  How often would God like to break through all the other voices and noises in our lives to reassure us that we’re OK?  We’re going to make it.  We’re loved.  We’re cared for.  We’re not alone…  

I’ve noticed this same swaying rhythmic dance when I’m hurting – either an actual physical hurt or an emotional hurt.  Tears can be streaming down my face and I am rocking, rocking, rocking…  My conversations with God at times like this are more of a rant rather than a prayer.   

Whether you feel, or think, or believe you are not worthy of God’s love doesn’t matter.  You can’t change His love.  You are the beloved of God.  Nothing you do, say, or choose can change God’s love.  Nothing — not time, not death, not life, not culture, evil, good — can change who you are.  You are the beloved of God.  

We can try to fill our lives with other loves, other ‘things’, and worldly distractions but it is as St. Augustine said, our hearts are restless until they rest in God.  We will always be out of step, out of sway, until we know and live as people who are truly loved by God. 

It’s been a rather difficult several weeks for our family, for our extended family.  We are hurting.  We are hurting for the poor choices that have been made. For the all too familiar past that has been repeated and for the consequences that have inevitably followed.  Our son is in jail.  This is due to his poor choices, his lies, his behavior and his lack of discipline.  He has lost his job and his family. 

For half his life, he has been defiant and has had run-ins with the law.  He's an addict and Meth is his drug of choice.  I am angry.  I am hurt.  I am trying to find within my being the capacity for forgiveness… yet again.  My biggest concern is the children he is leaving in his wake. 

I struggle with how transparent I wish or want to be with this blog.  How much should I or will I share.  I do not wish to come across as Saint Tamara the Pious because I struggle with the day-to-day issues.  I struggle with the hurts of having a rebellious son who just seems to be caught up in a Peter Pan syndrome and refuses to grow up. 

Yet try as I might, I have difficulty realizing the choices he makes are just that – his choices and his decisions.  Inevitably they will be his regrets.  For now, I have to back away from this situation.  That sounds cold, doesn’t it? 

So my prayer for now, for today is that the God of all comfort will envelope me, my husband, our son and those he has left in his wake and sway with us in the rhythm of His love.

Did you notice the new background design - a quilt.  A "comforter"... comfort from the Comforter.  I so need to be surrounded and wrapped in His love, His grace, and His comfort.

2 Corinthians 1:3
Common English Bible

3 May the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ be blessed! He is the compassionate Father and God of all comfort.

Where Is My Friend

I find it amusing when I have memories from “back in the day” and then for the life of me I cannot recall what even made me think of the specific event.  I do however, recall the trigger for this memory: an old song by Helen Reddy – “Where Is My Friend”.

God's Steadfast Love

Paul wrote, "I am convinced that neither death nor life... nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  ~Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

Today's devotional from the Upper Room was one that hit me right in the head and in the heart.  It was written by a mother who lost her adult son due to the lifestyle he was living and it described how he had walked away from the Lord.  This mother then related it to herself as a child of God's and how defiant she is at times.

The parallel she drew was poignant and dramatic and it was profoundly effective.  It hit me so very hard as we still have a son living at home.  He's 31, unemployed, and has a prison record.  He's never been married but has fathered two children from two different women... I could go on and on, but suffice it to say - after reading this woman's devotional there are a number of us who have family 'issues', don't we?  In my own anger I have raged at God about 'why? why? why?' and have been met with silence.  More often than not, that silence speaks so much louder than words.

 

The prayer focus of today's devotional was 'Defiant Children' and I suggest we do the same today, and pray for the Defiant Children and as well as for those who are compliant.

Abba, Father~ hear my prayer!  I ask that You cleanse me from my sin so that the words of my heart will be heard by You.
 
I lift up my son and all the sons and daughters who willfully turn from You and walk a path of dilliberant indifference.  Please Lord, draw them back unto You.  As scary as it is, at least for my own son, do what ever it takes to get his attention and devotion.
 
For those of us with compliant children - thank You!  May we never take them for granted, but seek to nuture them in an environment of love, faith and trust.   In Jesus name I pray ~AMEN!

because we're His,

Tamara

The Upper Room Devotionl